


do and ye are doomed

by Liliace



Series: demon!Tony [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angels, Demon Tony Stark, Friendship, Future Demon Rhodey, Gen, God and the Devil, Heaven & Hell, Humor, I don't mean to offend anyone but I use religious concepts pretty freely, Mentions of Tony Stark, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peggy is cool, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, no appearances by Tony or Bucky this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: Rhodey dies and goes to heaven. Too bad he doesn't want to stay there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays yall! Thought I'd post this as a (late) present or something. So, without further ado, here's the "Rhodey turns down heaven" oneshot people have been asking for!

Rhodey looked around himself in confusion. To be perfectly honest, Rhodey had expected to end up in Hell. He had done some rather horrible things to get revenge for Tony, after all.

But this wasn't Hell, if the white and the light and the soft, gentle music was anything to go by. Rhodey glanced around himself, trying to pinpoint the source of the music, but only managed to notice one figure walking towards him.

He blinked. That – that was also rather surprising. The oncoming figure was fully dressed in black, and looked rather out of place in the blindingly white surroundings.

"James Rhodes, also known as Rhodey," the figure – man, Rhodey thought, except did religious creatures have genders? – said as he stopped in front of Rhodey. "Nice to see you got here safe and sound."

If Rhodey wasn't very much mistaken, the guy was judging him something hard. Rhodey could only see one of his eyes as the other was covered with an eyepatch, but that was enough to see a narrowed stare. Besides, the guy sounded very unimpressed.

"Er, yes. Glad to be here," Rhodey said haltingly. What do you say to someone who greets you upon arriving in heaven?

"I'm Fury. Follow me, I'll take you to your new place," the guy said without much infliction, and Rhodey obediently fell into step beside him.

"Is Tony okay? How has he been doing?" Rhodey asked as they walked.

Fury glanced at him, his one eye narrowed even more. "Tony who?"

"Anthony Stark," Rhodey said. "My best friend. Would've arrived a week or so ago."

Fury stared at him for a moment before flipping out a list from – somewhere, and going through it. "No Anthony Stark here – wait. I see." He turned to look at Rhodey, who felt his trepidation rising because of Fury's flat expression. "He went to Hell."

Rhodey stopped. Fury stopped a step or two in front of him, and turned back to look at him. Rhodey just stared at Fury very mulishly.

"Then I'm going too," he declared.

Fury gazed at him, unimpressed, for a long while before sighing and motioning towards Rhodey. "Fine. Get your ass over here."

He started walking again, but this time to a different direction, and Rhodey gladly followed.

Throwing away his chance at eternal happiness might seem stupid, but Rhodey knew that he would be the happiest wherever Tony was. They'd been friends for so long Rhodey couldn't remember what it was like to live without him.

Anything and everything paled in comparison to Tony. And besides, Rhodey knew that Tony would do the same for him.

He followed Fury for long moments, but eventually they stumbled upon a building and Fury led them inside. There, they wandered around some halls before reaching a door that simply spelled 'God'.

Rhodey gulped. He hoped this wouldn't bite him in the ass.

Fury raised his hand and knocked, and a moment later there was a soft 'come in' from behind the door. Fury opened it and walked in.

Rhodey followed after a moment's hesitation, and had to stop and wonder at the sight in front of him.

There was a desk, a white large desk that held all kinds of things. Mostly papers, though, and Rhodey felt an incredulous laugh bubbling up inside him at the thought that God had to do paperwork. What really got his attention, though, was the person behind the desk.

It was a woman. A very pretty, brunet woman. Now, Rhodey liked to think of himself as unprejudiced, but that still surprised him. Not that he was going to admit that to God who was looking at Fury questioningly.

"He wants to go to Hell," Fury explained succinctly, and God's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Rhodey found it rather amusing that God was capable of such human expressions. "I know," Fury continued in a very unimpressed tone of voice. "He's all yours." With that, Fury walked out, and Rhodey was left alone with the single most powerful entity in the world.

"So, James," God said, and Rhodey supposed he really shouldn't be surprised that she knew his name. "You'd rather go to Hell than stay in Heaven?"

Rhodey swallowed. "It's nothing against you, your – your worship. But my best friend apparently went to hell, and I need to make sure he's okay."

God let out a laugh that somehow instantly made Rhodey feel at ease. "Please, do call me Peggy. And who might this friend be? Are you sure he is that important to you?"

Peggy. That was – a very surprising name for an omnipotent being.

"Anthony Stark," Rhodey answered, pushing his surprise and confusion aside. "And yes, he is." He considered it for a moment, and then he continued hesitantly. "Would there be any way to, you know, bring him here?"

God – Peggy – looked at him consideringly before shaking his head sadly. "Anthony has done a lot of bad things, I'm afraid. We cannot just break the rules because of one man's devotion."

"Fine," Rhodey nodded determinedly. "Then can you take me to him?"

"I'll have to ask Pepper if she minds having one more guest," Peggy mused. "If you'll wait, I'll contact her now."

Rhodey nodded in agreement, and seeing as Peggy didn't request he leave, he stayed and observed.

Peggy waved a hand in the air, and the air rippled. A portion of it turned grey, then pink, and then red, and soon Rhodey could see the back of a person also crouched upon a desk.

"Pepper, hi," Peggy greeted warmly, and the other figure's head shot up.

"Peggy!" the woman – at least based on the voice – exclaimed in surprise. "It's been a while. It's not like you to call during office days, is something the matter?"

"I have an arrival that wishes to descent into Hell," Peggy said slowly, as if still incredulous over the whole idea.

Rhodey couldn't see this Pepper's expression, but the long silence rather clued him into what she thought about it all.

"Into Hell? I know some of my arrivals beg to go to Heaven, but – this way 'round? It's unprecedented!" Pepper eventually exclaimed, and Peggy smirked.

"He does seem like a rather interesting human," Peggy commented, glancing at Rhodey with eyes that danced with laughter. "Apparently his best friend is in Hell, one Anthony Stark?" Peggy ended questioningly.

"Stark?" Pepper asked, her voice ringing with recognition. Rhodey found himself surprised, but then figured he shouldn't be – of course Tony would manage to get the attention of whoever seemed to be in charge. "You say he's Stark's best friend?" At Peggy's nod, Pepper let out what could only be described as a sigh of relief. "Yes, send him here. Please. As soon as possible. Maybe _he_ can control his best friend."

Peggy glanced back at Rhodey questioningly, but Rhodey could only stare back in confusion. Although, really, perhaps he should have predicted this. Tony was a troublemaker no matter where he went, so naturally hell would be no different.

"Well then, I'll send him down now," Peggy commented, and Pepper's head moved in a sharp nod before Peggy cut the connection.

They gazed at each other for a moment.

"Are you ready to depart?" Peggy asked then, and Rhodey shrugged self-deprecatingly.

"Who would I have to say goodbye to? That guy, Fury, didn't seem overly fond of me," he said with a small grin.

Peggy laughed again. "Don't take it personally, I don't think he's fond of anyone. Least of all troublemakers." Rhodey blinked at being characterized as such; maybe Tony was influencing him more than he thought. "But he's the one sent to greet everyone who died furious," she continued.

"Fury meets the furious ones?" Rhodey questioned amusedly.

"Yes, it's all based on the name," Peggy winked. "Well then, if you're all set," Peggy said, lifting her eyebrows.

When Rhodey nodded, she raised her hand and wiggled her fingers and –

Suddenly Rhodey wasn't standing in a white office anymore, but rather everything around him was red. Including the heels of the woman who walked – stalked – over to greet him.

"Welcome to Hell, Mr. Rhodes. I am Pepper, also known as the Devil. I fear we have no more time for pleasantries, though, so if you'd kindly follow me…"

Rhodey looked at her in slight puzzlement, but nodded obediently and trudged along.

It would all be worth it very soon, once he saw his best friend again.


End file.
